The 'Definitive' Ranking of "Mario Superstar Baseball" Characters

I know what you’re thinking. Did this guy really take a considerable amount of time to rank the baseball abilities of fictional characters from a children’s game that was released in 2005? Yes, yes I did. “Mario Superstar Baseball” for the Nintendo Gamecube was released just under 13 years ago, yet to my friends and me, it is still completely relevant. I’ve placed each of the 32 characters in one of four tiers, creatively named Tier 1, 2, 3, and 4. The list will begin with the absolute worst characters and progress until I declare the ultimate character. Without further ado, let’s get started.

Tier 4

32 Koopa
Scouting Grades: Hit:30/Power:25/Run:45/Arm:50/Field:45/Pitch:40/Overall:30

To quote my brother, “Koopa has fly ball power.” Combine the power of Diddy with mediocre defense, no discernable pitching ability and a high tendency to pop up and you have this shelled liability. When a turtle’s most redeemable quality is his speed then he’s in trouble.

31 Baby Mario
Scouting Grades: Hit:55/Power:25/Run:60/Arm:20/Field:30/Pitch:40/Overall:30

Poor Power, poor defense with not a ton of strengths. Has some speed and can wall jump so he works as a corner outfielder, but the hole in his glove is just one of the many holes in his game.

30 Baby Luigi
Scouting Grades: Hit:50/Power:20/Run:65/Arm:20/Field:35/Pitch:55/Overall:35

See description on Baby Mario. Can be useful on the mound a bit.

29 Wario
Scouting Grades: Hit:20/Power:60/Run:30/Arm:60/Field:40/Pitch:40/Overall:35

He’s as thick as the “Ls” he takes on the field. Wario only ranks this high for his ability to put one over the fence every so often. Generally, he goes 0-4 with consistency.

28 Goomba
Scouting Grades: Hit:30/Power:40/Run:50/Arm:30/Field:45/Pitch:40/Overall:35

Goomba beat out four players by default. I guess he can ball dash? Not a good ballplayer.

27 Paragoomba
Scouting Grades: Hit:45/Power:25/Run:60/Arm:65/Field:40/Pitch:25/Overall:40

Goomba’s winged counterpart has a bit more speed and a nice arm despite having no arms. Nothing much to see here though.

Tier 3

26 Dixie Kong
Scouting Grades: Hit:35/Power:35/Run:55/Arm:70/Field:65/Pitch:50/Overall:45

The difference between Dixie and Paragoomba is immense. Dixie has some uses with a good glove and above average speed. Her arm isn’t too shabby either. If you can get used to her hitting she might surprise you a bit. Do NOT try to pull it.

25 Toadette
Scouting Grades: Hit:40/Power:25/Run:80/Arm:40/Field:55/Pitch:40/Overall:45

Tied for the fastest player in the game, Toadette is a versatile outfielder. Not a great arm or bat, but the defense and speed is desirable.

24 Monty Mole
Scouting Grades: Hit:60/Power:30/Run:55/Arm:25/Field:30/Pitch:30/Overall:45

An effective slap hitter with some charge swing pop. His fielding is below average. Friends with Goomba, who he learned ball dash from.

23 Pianta
Scouting Grades: Hit:45/Power:60/Run:20/Arm:65/Field:65/Pitch:40/Overall:50

Pianta is slower than Bartolo Colon, and has a tendency to pop the ball up, but his surprisingly effective glove and laser beam throw can be useful. If he connects, watch it fly.

22 Waluigi
Scouting Grades: Hit:50/Power:20/Run:40/Arm:45/Field:45/Pitch:80/Overall:50

Best pitching talent in the game, but overall, he’s underwhelming in every other aspect. Double play machine on the mound and in the batter’s box.

21 Birdo
Scouting Grades: Hit:40/Power:55/Run:35/Arm:60/Field:80/Pitch:30/Overall:55

Best served as a shortstop, her “suction” ability seems to grab baseballs from a mile away. Her bat is tough to handle unless you have some star swings saved up.

20 Bowser Jr.
Scouting Grades: Hit:40/Power:55/Run:40/Arm:60/Field:60/Pitch:50/Overall:55

Similar to Birdo’s struggles at the plate, Bowser Jr. can be tough to use at the plate. (Editor’s note: Charge swing takes forever to reload). That aside, he is an effective outfielder with a plus arm. Don’t be afraid to try him on the mound.

19 Shy Guy
Scouting Grades: Hit:50/Power:50/Run:50/Arm:45/Field:50/Pitch:50/Overall:55

Shy Guy is the most average player in the game. He won’t “wow” you in any area, but he has range in the field and some balanced power.

Tier 2

18 Luigi
Scouting Grades: Hit:55/Power:55/Run:55/Arm:60/Field:60/Pitch:40/Overall:60

You can rule out pitching with Luigi, as he is better served as a corner outfielder or first baseman. He comes equipped with a ton of buddy options, such as Mario, Peach and Daisy. For a beginner, he’s an easy hitter to train with, but one of his downsides is his star swing which often results in a groundout

17 Dry Bones
Scouting Grades: Hit:75/Power:40/Run:45/Arm:50/Field:45/Pitch:40/Overall:60

Dry Bones doesn’t excel in any area, but Green Dry Bones has a star swing that vaults him up in the rankings. You can find a use for him in the field.

16 Petey Piranha
Scouting Grades: Hit:30/Power:80/Run:20/Arm:80/Field:30/Pitch:60/Overall:60

Petey Piranha can baffle less experienced players. He rivals Pianta in speed. He can easily get sawed off (or leafed off), his charge swing takes centuries to reload and he has to pull the ball to be effective. If shifts were possible in this game, we would see the Joey Gallo shift here. That being said, no one is more powerful than this guy. On the mound, he’s one of the hardest throwers in the game.

15 Noki
Scouting Grades: Hit:75/Power:30/Run:55/Arm:60/Field:40/Pitch:30/Overall:60

Noki is a below average defender, one of the slower speed type players, and has no strengths on the mound. (It should be noted that she’s slow among her speed type peers, but she is still quicker than most players in this game). Green Noki’s star swing is what elevates her to this ranking and makes her a doubles machine.

14 Toad
Scouting Grades: Hit:60/Power:60/Run:45/Arm:50/Field:40/Pitch:50/Overall:60

Toad’s only weakness is his uncertainty in the field. He has more home run potential than some Power type players. Toad has a hidden ability where, if he is standing at the top of the batter's’ box, he is a tough out if he makes contact. This helped him rank so high on the list.

13 Boo
Scouting Grades: Hit:60/Power:60/Run:45/Arm:35/Field:30/Pitch:70/Overall:60

Boo is one of the worst fielders in this game which is why you should always consider pitching him. Lucky for you, he is one of the best pitchers in the game and he comes with an underrated bat that is easy to use.

12 Daisy
Scouting Grades: Hit:55/Power:65/Run:50/Arm:50/Field:70/Pitch:60/Overall:65

Ideally, Daisy would be ranked higher on this list if not for her glaring weakness with inside pitches. Nonetheless, she is one of the most talented characters in the game. Her quick throw ability is top notch and she has home run power. Feel free to use her anywhere in the field, including on the mound. One more added bonus to Daisy is her “flower ball” skill. It is as hard to catch as it is to hit.

11 Diddy Kong
Scouting grades: Hit:60/Power:35/Run:65/Arm:70/Field:80/Pitch:40/Overall:65

For a first-time player, Diddy is an easy player to hit with, and he is a plus defender who never muffs the ball. His speed plays well in center, and his clamber ability can frustrate opposing sluggers. The more you play with him, the more you’ll love his line-drive stroke.

10 Yoshi
Scouting Grades: Hit:45/Power:50/Run:80/Arm:35/Field:80/Pitch:30/Overall:70

If Byron Buxton hit left handed, and had a tongue that was twenty feet long, then he might be named Yoshi. Yoshi’s speed is only matched by Toadette, and he’s one of the only players that is a threat to steal. His bat can be hard to control, but he has more power than one may think.

9 Koopa Paratroopa
Scouting Grades: Hit:80/Power:30/Run:55/Arm:70/Field:60/Pitch:40/Overall:70

On the surface, it looks like there’s not much to work with here. Much like Green Dry Bones and Green Noki, Green Koopa Paratroopa has a star swing that almost always results in a hit. Unlike Dry Bones and Noki, he has a much stronger arm and proves to be a more capable fielder than most.

8 Mario
Scouting Grades: Hit:60/Power:65/Run:55/Arm:60/Field:65/Pitch:65/Overall:70

Don’t think we forgot about the cover athlete and Nintendo’s biggest hero. Mario has plus power, pitching, fielding and running. His fireball ability almost guarantees an extra base hit. There’s pretty much nothing Mario can’t do.

7 King Boo
Scouting Grades: Hit:65/Power:75/Run:40/Arm:60/Field:20/Pitch:50/Overall:70

King Boo has the ability to hit for average and power while spraying the ball to all fields. Despite his shaky defense and mediocre mound presence, King Boo still ranks as one of the most valuable players in this game due to his Miguel Cabrera-like bat.

6 Donkey Kong
Scouting Grades: Hit:60/Power:80/Run:40/Arm:70/Field:55/Pitch:55/Overall:75

Donkey Kong will strike out with consistency and might leave some gamers frustrated, however he has one of the strongest bats in the game. He bats with a boxing glove, which makes it impossible to generate a pop up on this pull-heavy primate.

5 Magikoopa
Scouting Grades: Hit:80/Power:60/Run:20/Arm:30/Field:80/Pitch:30/Overall:75

Magikoopa has no baserunning skill to be found and his pitching leaves something to be desired, but his plate skills and fielding ability more than make up for it. In the field, he looks like he has the ball on a string with his magical catching ability, which makes him the perfect second baseman. At the plate, he can hit for power, but also can use his star swing ability to get you a hit if you need it.

4 Toadsworth
Scouting Grades: Hit:65/Power:70/Run:35/Arm:40/Field:75/Pitch:50/Overall:75

Toadsworth takes a little bit of getting used to, but his bat generates only hard contact to all fields. The game determines well hit balls as either “nice,” or “perfect” and Toadsworth is one of two characters who is able to hit that perfect spot consistently. He is an immaculate fielder as well and his arm plays well in the infield.

Tier 1

3 Princess Peach
Scouting Grades: Hit:70/Power:70/Run:50/Arm:50/Field:80/Pitch:70/Overall:80

Princess Peach is easily one of the best characters in the game, with great hitting ability that is capped off with enormous opposite field power. Peach can hit a home run in any stadium. In the field, Peach might be even better because she has one of the best gloves in the game, that is coupled with a good arm which is made even better with her quick throw ability. Peach has a lot of chemistry on the diamond which makes the whole defense play better, and causes a lot of frustration in opponents. If you decide to throw her on the mound, she is one of the most capable pitchers in the game and can be deadly with her “heart pitch.”

2 Hammer Bro/Boomerang Bro/Fire Bro
Scouting Grades: Hit:75/Power:80/Run:35/Arm:60/Field:55/Pitch:40/Overall:80

There was some debate about ranking Hammer Bro as the best player in this game, and it is all based on his bat. His base running, fielding, and pitching are all underwhelming, but his hitting ability is leaps and bounds ahead of most characters. The most effective pitching strategy against him is the intentional walk. He yanks balls out with extreme pull power, and has the same wide sweet spot that Toadsworth has. Think about Hammer Bro as Toadsworth on steroids. If you choose to play as Boomerang Bro, you lose the sweet spot, but you gain the ability to spray it across the diamond like King Boo. Choosing Fire Bro would not be a wise decision.

1 Bowser
Scouting Grades: Hit:80/Power:80/Run:20/Arm:70/Field:35/Pitch:75/Overall:80

The king of the koopas comes in at number one on our list. This was no easy decision, but ultimately, Bowser ranks just ahead of Hammer Bro. Bowser has the best bat in the game, and he is the easiest player to hit with. He favors the pull side, but it’s not just his extreme power that makes him so good. His bat is able to reach spots that just don’t make sense. He can hit a home run on balls that almost hit him, and balls that are in the other batter’s box and anywhere in between. His defensive woes and speed aren’t fantastic, but his bat is just too dominant. On defense, you can put him on the mound and he’ll get the job done, or you can hide him at catcher which is a mostly unimportant position in this game. Hammer Bro gave him a run for his money, but Bowser is the most valuable player in Mario Superstar Baseball.

This article isn’t meant to be taken very seriously (obviously), so feel free to argue amongst yourselves in the comments; just keep it civil. And last but not least, a big thanks to my older brother Ryan for contributing to this article.

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